Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I haven't posted anything in a while, but wanted to say Thank You again to everyone for your continued prayer support and understanding during this difficult time in our lives. That is the most important thing you can do for us right now. I know that you may want to know what you can do, but it is okay to just be there and listen or lift us up in prayer right now.

This morning I heard a song by Jason Gray called "Not Right Now" that really hit home and thought I would share the lyrics. The chorus at the end is repeated after each verse, but I removed it to condense space.

"You could see the smoke from a mile away
And trouble always draws a crowd
They wanna tell me that it'll be okay
But that's not what I need right now
Not while my house is burning down

Tell me if the hope that you know is true
Ever feels like a lie even from a friend
When their words are salt in an open wound
And they just can't seem to understand
That you haven't even stopped the bleeding yet

Don't tell me when I'm grieving
That this happened for a reason
Maybe one day we'll talk about the dreams that had to die
For new ones to come alive
But not right now

While I wait for the smoke to clear
You don't even have to speak
Just sit with me in the ashes here
And together we can pray for peace
To the one acquainted with our grief

I know someday
I know somehow
I'll be okay
But not right now
Not right now
No, not right now"

May God bless each and every one of you who are grieving with us and supporting us. You have no idea how much it helps and I hope that you never have to experience it yourself.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014 - Courtney's Soul

Today was a little better, but there are still moments in each day that a spoken word, a picture, a situation, or a thought will provoke tears or feelings of heartache.  She was such an integral part of our everyday life that there are going to be things each day that do that.

I am not saying I want to forget those things or feelings, just that right now it brings tears and feelings of sadness because of our loss.  Eventually, there will be more feelings of happiness and joy when remembering things about her.  If you asked anyone that ever met her what was the one thing they remembered most about her, I think it would definitely be her smile.  She loved life and brought joy to everyone she met.  She could walk into a room and brighten it with her presence and that beautiful smile.  She would always greet us at the door with a big Hello anytime we came in, even if we had only been gone for a short time.  I miss hearing that "Daddy....." when I come in from work in the evening.  :-(

I was brought to tears at Courtney's funeral service when her kindergarten teacher spoke about her and read a poem that she wrote.  I asked her for permission to share it - I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Courtney's Soul



 An angel looked at the book of life
and then they looked at the Lord.
“I don’t know if we can send her
Her soul’s too sweet for that world.

It’s filled with people who hate
They don’t know which way to turn.”
But the Lord in his infinite wisdom
decided the world needed her.

He decided to share his sweet daughter
with the world for a little while.
He gave her to Randy and Jennifer
and then He looked down and smiled.

He saw that she needed a sister
to walk right beside her heart.
“They’ll feel just like they are twins
even though they were born years apart.

Her friends – they will learn about friendship
her teachers will know their true worth.
Her family and even her doctors
will learn from her lessons on earth.

I’ll lend her to them for just enough time.
She’ll help us as we reach our goal.
Of making the world a sweeter place
Because of our sweet Courtney’s soul.

And then one day when I call her home
and write her name where it’s meant to be
Our Heaven will be even sweeter
‘Cause they gave her back to Me.”







Monday, March 10, 2014

Over the past 10 days, I have often heard the phrase "I wish I knew what to say".  The truth of the matter is that there really are no words that can be said that will replace the emptiness we feel inside our hearts.  There are no words that can ease the pain and anguish over losing someone.  However, we know that God will provide the strength and comfort that we need to move forward and define our "new normal".

Likewise, there are not any words that are eloquent enough or strong enough to properly express our thanks to everyone who has supported us over the last month. 

We were overwhelmed by the number of people who came to the visitation on Tuesday night and apologize to anyone who did not get to speak with us before the service.  We decided to stay after the service, but realize that some people were not able to stay through the funeral.  We also realize that due to weather in some areas, we had a number of friends who wanted to be there, but could not make it.  The service was a wonderful celebration of Courtney's life and we are grateful to everyone who spoke, sang, or had any part in the service.

We also want to thank everyone that was able to attend the graveside service on Wednesday, but apologize if we did not get to speak with you.  There was lunch provided for everyone at the community center, but we were not sure that everyone understood that they could speak with us there and eat as well.

We have been blessed by your words of encouragement, prayer support, flowers, acts of kindness, and donations made in Courtney's memory.  It is amazing to see how many people Courtney touched in her lifetime, including many that she never met. I am sure that there will be many more that are touched in the years ahead by stories, memories, or pictures of her.

We desire your continued prayer support for Jennifer who has been Courtney's primary caregiver for nearly 17 years, for Kelsey who dropped out of school this semester to be with her sister and is closer to her sister than any sisters I have ever known of, and for me as I try to go back to work.

Today was my first day back at work and it reminded me of just how hard this is going to be. I have taken Courtney to McGavock every morning on my way to work. I loved listening to her morning prayer, singing songs with her while listening to 94 FM The Fish, studying for a test, or just talking about her plans for the day. I was in tears as I passed McGavock Pike, then Two Rivers Parkway, and as I walked into my office.

I remember a quote from "Sleepless in Seattle" when Sam answered a radio host's question about how he got over losing his wife. He said, ""Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while."

I still have a lovely wife and beautiful daughter to care for, but there is a part of us that is missing now and we will have to find a way to move forward without her.

If you would like to visit her memorial page to view pictures or leave a message, you can visit it at http://www.legacy.com/link.asp?i=ls000169913926&locale=en_US

Thank you and God bless each and every one of you.

Courtney Update - Saturday, March 1, 2014

8:30 PM  [Corrected on Sunday morning March 2]

We have finalized the funeral arrangements.

The visitation will be Tuesday, March 4th from 3:00 - 6:00, followed by the funeral service at 6:30 at our church - Hermitage United Methodist Church (205 Belinda Drive, Hermitage, TN 37076).  If you are familiar with Hermitage, the church faces Lebanon Road and is beside McKendree Village.

The graveside service will be on Wednesday, March 5th at 11:00 AM at Bascom Methodist Church Cemetery (5311 Vervilla Rd, Morrison, TN 37357).  [Please note this is the correct cemetery address corrected Sunday morning March 2)

Thank you for your continued prayer support.


8:00 AM

Yesterday, Friday afternoon, the results of Courtney's head cat scan revealed that Courtney would never be able to return to us with any quality of life and must immediately stop the blood thinners; meaning she had to come off the ECMO machine immediately and on to just basic life support. While surrounded with love, at approx. 11 pm last night, Courtney went on to God's promised quality of life. We thank God for the precious time we had with her.

Thank you for your tremendous show of love and prayer support especially over these past 3 weeks.  We will continue to need them for our entire family.