Kelsey - My Little Girl

As I reflect on the beautiful wedding ceremony that took place last night, I can't help but think about what a lovely young lady my daughter has become. She was a beautiful bride last night, but to me she will always be "my little girl". Thank you to everyone who followed my reverse chronological journey of Kelsey's life. I would like to put an exclamation on the journey by sharing a video presentation I put together for her Christmas gift her Senior year at DCA. It is still relevant today, even though she is a few years older.

God works in mysterious ways

I know the phrase is used a lot, but God surely does work in mysterious ways.  Courtney, spent her first 6 months in the PICU at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital and had many more extended stays there during the first few years of her life.  During that time, we developed a close bond to the staff in the Family Resource Center and Child Life group.  They helped us gather information about Courtney's genetic disorder and prepare us for surgeries that she faced.  They also helped explain things to Kelsey in a way that she could understand and used dolls and puppets to let her see simulated IV insertion and other procedures.

Kelsey became very close with the staff, writing letters to Mrs. Beth after she left and made visits to the Family Resource Center when we were in the hospital with Courtney over the years.  Jennifer and I have worked with their Families as Mentors (FAM) and Families as Classroom Training (FACT) programs, allowing Vanderbilt medical students from a wide array of disciplines to come into our home and discuss Courtney and how to better care for families while in the hospital.  Jennifer has also given several speeches to nursing students at Peabody and made a video with Courtney for the 20th anniversary of the Family Resource Center.

After Courtney passed in February last year, we have not made as many trips to see them, but they kept in touch to make sure we were doing okay.  Kelsey started her college career at Western Kentucky University in 2011 with a Musical Theatre major, but always had her eyes on being a nurse or working with kids.  She transferred to Union University her sophomore year and changed her major to Nursing.  Her junior year, she decided that she would rather work with the kids on a more personal level instead of providing medical care and changed her major to Family Studies with an emphasis in Early Childhood Development.  Her senior year she learned that she could get a Theatre major by using her transferred credits from WKU.  This combination of degree and experiences allows her to pursue several different career choices.

That brings us to the mysterious.   While interviewing for a different position at Vanderbilt, she learned that there was a position open in the Family Resource Center and applied for the position.  After going through the interview process, she was offered the job today and will now be working with the people who have meant so much to us over the years.  She will have the opportunity to touch the lives of other families and children like her and use her experiences to make a difference in someone else's life.

As she prepares for her wedding in 12 days (she reminded me of the # of days today) LOL, I can't help but be so proud of her and know that God will use her in wonderful ways.

Courtney's 18th Birthday

Today (May 11, 2015) would have been Courtney’s 18^th birthday.  I still miss her so very much…. seeing her sweet smile, hearing her yell “Daddy….” anytime I came home (but especially after a day at work), and spending time with her (bowling, Predators games, Titans games, playing Wii, or singing songs).

 

When Kelsey turned 18, I wrote her a letter telling her how much I loved her, what I admired about her, what I was proud of, and gave her some words of wisdom and advice to use as she faced this new phase in her life.

Although the context and advice would have been on a different level, I had always planned on doing the same thing for Courtney.  Although she is not here to read it, I decided I would still write it.

As it was with Kelsey, I have no problem finding things that I was proud of Courtney for or expressing how much I love her.  However, when it comes to the advice part, I find it quite difficult and realize that I should probably be taking advice from her.

·         Courtney loved everyone, unconditionally

·         She wanted everyone to be happy (evidenced by her love of Peace signs and not wanting us to even horse around with each other thinking we might get hurt or were really be mad at one another)

·         She lived EVERY day to its fullest

·         She persevered through so many procedures, surgeries, and medical inconveniences and NEVER complained

·         She brightened the lives of others just by being in the same room

·         She shared a bond with Kelsey that is stronger than most twins that I know

·         She was determined to do her best at whatever she attempted, regardless of her limitations

·         She loved Jennifer and I and always tried to please us

You see, basically Courtney lived a life that was modeled after Christ himself and she brought out the best in everyone around her.  What other advice could I possibly give her?

After raising Courtney and being around so many other “special needs” children over the last 18 years, I often have wondered why we say that they have “special NEEDS”.  Although they do have needs for things that are different from the rest of their peers, they have so many more traits and attributes that we all could use in our daily lives.  Maybe we are the ones that have the special needs and not them.

I am blessed to have a daughter that had to mature a lot earlier than kids should have to.  Kelsey had to share her sister with nurses and doctors in hospitals, nurses in our home for 9+ years, experience things in hospitals that were hard to bear, but through it all has become a beautiful young lady that will be graduating from Union this coming weekend and is the best big sister Courtney could ever have hoped for.

I am also extremely blessed to have a wife that has been so much more than that.  She is a loving mother of 2 daughters, a primary care provider for Courtney, chief organizer of our family, my best friend, and the glue that has held our family together for many years.

Although it is painful that she is not here with us, we were blessed to raise such an amazing your girl and have her in our lives for 16+ years.  I don’t know if she is celebrating her birthday in Heaven today, but I want to wish her a very HAPPY 18^th BIRTHDAY and let her know that one day we will all be able to celebrate with her once again.

I LOVE YOU Court Court